Beyond having an open
heart, another essential aspect of loving your self and living
your true purpose is to have a clear heart. If you consider
the open heart the heart of your Divine inner child, consider
the clear heart the heart of your Divine inner adult.
To have a clear heart means to step away from the confusion
and fog of drama and self-pity and look at life objectively.
A clear heart allows you to engage in life with objectivity
and reason. When your heart is clear, you don’t take life
personally. Unless you have a clear heart, it is very difficult
to love yourself because you are too busy being victimized and
abused by those around you and suffering for it.
You cannot get to a clear heart through the ego. You must decide
you are not going to be a victim of anyone’s behavior
in order to access the clear heart. Once you make that decision,
the heart automatically begins to clear.
You begin to understand that your boss acts like a bully because
he’s insecure, not because you are doing a bad job. You
understand your child is angry and defensive because he is neglecting
his responsibilities and not because you are a bad parent. You
see that your neighbor is curt and rude because she isn’t
feeling well and doesn’t have adequate insurance, not
because she resents you as a neighbor.
Having a clear heart is an enormously self-loving choice to
make because it frees you from suffering everyone else’s
misery and lets you enjoy your peace.
To have a clear heart is simple—first, take nothing personally.
Whatever someone does or doesn’t do is not about you.
And second, don’t be a victim. Remember that you can’t
control others, but you can choose how you respond to others.
One tremendous self-loving benefit to cultivating a clear heart
is that you begin to see just how life is a classroom where
our souls come to learn, and how every choice has an outcome.
Life stops being random chaos and drama and settles into a far
calmer, clearer creative endeavor. A clear heart is a creative
heart. When your heart is clear, you can see subtle connections
and hidden relationships. You begin to understand what is really
going on with people and can therefore make better choices about
how you want to respond. You remove the wear and tear that victimhood
brings. With a clear heart, you take back your power to choose
and to create.
To clear your heart is simple. Just change the question from
“Why is this happening to me?” to “Why is
this happening? What is the relationship between cause and effect,
choice and outcome?” and even better, “What can
I learn from this?”
Study, rather than react; unplug from drama and breathe through
your challenges with objectivity. This is not to imply you cannot
feel. Feelings are good and inform you about your choices. When
you feel bad, there is something to learn. For example, if you
feel depressed, you learn that you might need to take better
care of your health, or that you are ignoring your needs. If
you feel angry, you learn that you are not respecting your boundaries
and need to examine where you are letting others push you around.
If you feel irritable or impatient, you learn that something
about what is going on is ungrounded and unclear, or perhaps
not truthful.
The benefits of a clear heart are many. It is the heart that
reduces stress, improves vitality, and restores energy. The
clearer your heart, the less draining life is. It also is the
heart that empowers you and restores creativity. If your heart
is clouded and confused, you cannot find your way to solution.
You just spin around in suffering circles. Though it’s
seductive to your ego, it’s actually a waste of time.
Nothing positive or good comes out of a clouded, confused heart.
Ever.
Nothing clouds your heart and interrupts your ability to self-love
more quickly and thoroughly than fear. The minute we feel afraid,
the heart clouds up and confusion sets in.
What I’ve discovered, however, is that we don’t
have to overcome fear to have a clear heart. We simply need
to recognize it when it shows up and acknowledge its presence.
The great revelation for me is that it isn’t fear itself
that confuses the heart, so much as it is the effort of hiding
our fear, or denying our fear that is so self- abusive and destructive.
Being afraid is normal, especially when facing the unknown.
Yet the interesting thing is that the more we acknowledged our
fears, the more they begin to subside and the more clarity returns
to the heart.
So many of our fears really are nothing more than threats to
our already insecure ego. If we remember we are Spirit, however,
we get free of the ego’s freak outs.
The more we simply acknowledge our fears with love, and a dash
of humor, the more they subside and unfog the heart.
Besides, there is a big difference between feeling vague generic
fear and actually being in danger. Most of the time when we
feel fear there is no danger other than to our fragile egos.
So it’s important to make that distinction.
And even when you are in danger, it’s far better to acknowledge
fear’s presence so your heart will clear up and your guidance
comes through to help get you out of danger, than it is to ignore
it.
Whenever you feel afraid, acknowledge it out loud; if not out
loud, at least to yourself. Be as specific as possible about
what you fear. Say you don’t know why if you don’t.
Notice how the more you articulate your fear the clearer your
heart becomes.
Once it’s clear, ask your Spirit, “Is this a real
or imagined threat?” Listen to the answer.
If real, ask the clear heart to guide you quickly to safety.
If it’s imagined, ask it to step aside. The more often
and more quickly you confront fear the more quickly your heart
will clear and remain clear.
The most powerful tool I use for clearing the heart and releasing
the authentic Spirit within is an exercise I call Diving for
Gold. To use this exercise, simply fill in the following,
If I weren’t afraid I would…..
out loud, for three full minutes, once a day for 30 days.
To do this releases a powerful force of truth within. It allows
you to bypass your fears and listen to your uncensored authentic
heart. Some of what you reveal in this exercise may not surprise
you, but some things may. More importantly, no matter what you
uncover behind your fears, by simply following this exercise,
you pull back the veil of fear and connect with your authentic
Spirit. Connecting with authentic Spirit and expressing your
truth has a powerful effect on both you and the Universe. This
is because the Universe is created by sound, and there is no
more powerful sound in the Universe than that of your uncensored
authentic heart. To express your Spirit in this exercise will
literally call your desired experience to you within the thirty
days. Try it and you will see what I mean.
The important thing is to recognize the importance of having
a clear heart when it comes to loving yourself. Strive to keep
your heart clear. When your heart is clear you can feel your
Spirit, and you automatically find great love and appreciation
for yourself. But when it isn’t clear, you cannot touch
or sense your Spirit because your ego is freaking out. Know
that emotion passes. Be patient and let it pass, like rolling
thunderstorms across the sky. Decide to strive for a clear heart.
Recognize when it is clear how much easier it is to make healthy,
self-loving choices that honor your Spirit. Once you decide
a clear heart is important and essential to loving yourself,
it becomes easier and easier to keep your heart clear.
To clear your heart:
* Decide not to be a victim
* Take nothing and no one personally
* Ask, “Why is this happening?” instead of, “Why
is this happening to me?”
* Breathe calmly and slowly in through the nose, out through
the mouth for five minutes. This always clears the heart.
* Use the Diving For Gold exercise for thirty days
* Be aware that the ego reacts, becomes fearful, goes into drama
and confusion so don’t make decisions in this state.
* Realize to every problem there is a clear and loving solution
and expect it to reveal itself in time
Let your heart speak, and remember, it is not
fear that stops you from living an empowered life. It is hiding
fear. Don’t hide your fear. The more you express your
fears the quicker they shrink and disappear.
Sonia Choquette is an extraordinary spiritual teacher,
intuitive guide and catalyst who activates the highest vibration
in everyone she meets. A prolific writer, she is the best-selling
author of ten books published in over Thirty countries including
The Psychic Pathway, Your Heart's Desire,
The Intuitive Spark, Trust Your Vibes,
The Time Has Come and numerous lively audio editions and meditations.
Sonia has been a regular guest on ABC, NBC, CNN, FOX, Lime,
Sirius, and WGN as well as featured in New Woman Magazine (where
they rated Your Heart's Desire as one of the 10 best courses
to change your life), New Age Magazine, USA Today, Body and
Soul, Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun Times and Crain's Chicago
Business Journal.
She resides in Chicago with her husband, two daughters and her
poodle Miss T. www.SoniaChoquette.com
